Johnny Depp Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-JDOCD

Screen Shot from Public Enemies Trailer

Screen Shot from Public Enemies Trailer

JDOCD that’s what it is called. And it is neither a disorder, disability or affliction. It is a wonderfully sweet force of nature.. namely.. Johnny Depp. Those of us that have this malady don’t look for cures.. we don’t want a cure. What we do is collect thousands of photos, run to the store everytime we see that Johnny might be in it. Run to the theaters at least 10 times every time one of his films hit the theaters. We will stay up late on a work/school night to go to the midnight first showing of a Johnny movie. We have google alerts set to anything that might have something about him in it.
I found a blog a while back called Yellow Swordfish and the gentleman’s wife seems to have the same malady as most of us.. JDOCD. Andy writes some of the funniest true facts I have ever heard. Here are some blurbs from his site.. had me laughing my a$$ off reading all of them! For any fellow JDOCD reader Andy’s posts are a must… seriously!!

MY WIFE CAUGHT JDOCD FROM A VIDEO

posted June 13, 2005

About 18 months ago, my wife and youngest son called in at the local video rental to grab a DVD. My son innocently recommended a recent DVD release which he had already seen with friends at the cinema and was happy to watch again. So it was rented, bought home and watched. And she hasn’t been the same since. And she is not the only one. This has infected women – well mainly women – all over the world.
The film? Pirates of the Caribbean. The disease? Johnny Depp Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s real, it’s serious and there doesn’t appear to be a cure.
Of course many women were infected before this film appeared but with Depp stepping back into mainstream cinema the infection rate has been exponential. Some of these women live, breath and order their very lives around the disease. Their houses will be full of pictures, books, calendars devotedly displayed and cherished. Their video shelf will have been swept of everything but the rather small collection of Depp features which they will wistfully stare at wishing he was more prolific. Their computer hard drives will be bursting at the seams with JPEGs. They are already ordering their social lives and family holidays around the release date of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
As it happens, having had the Depp back catalogue take control of the family DVD player, I have to admit that he is quite a remarkable actor and seems like a nice guy. His role choices are often quirky and he brings to each one a uniqueness and strength quite unmatched by the majority of movie ’stars’. And I was happy to sit and watch them all. Some, I was happy to watch twice…
I suppose many women might be immune to the infection but there is no way of telling. The best advice I can give is not to chance it. If anyone suggests going to see or renting a Depp film then the best approach is to nonchalantly decline. Suggest a Tom Cruise movie instead; she should be safe with that.

HOW JOHNNY DEPP SAVED US FROM THE QUEUE FROM HELL
posted September 29, 2005

Since the terrorist attacks on New York’s twin towers, Americans have gone overboard on security to the point now where even the slightest amount of pleasure that may have been had from travelling by air has been blown clean away. And a great example of this is the security line at Washington’s Dulles airport that snakes around and around just about all the available space of the airport building in this huge, never-ending conga line of irate, sweaty humanity many of whom, I suspect, may be starting to cultivate terrorist ideas for themselves as they fantasise on ways to move up in the line. This queue is so long and moves so slowly there just has to be the occasional death or heart attack and tempers must get frayed to breaking point. And with just a little under one hour to our flight departure to Nashville and having already flown the Atlantic and endured US Customs and Immigration, we saw this Queue from Hell where the first problem is locating the end so you can join it.
Shoulders visibly sagging – thinking of an unwanted overnight stay at yet another airport hotel because there was no way in hell we would catch this plane and then we’d have to join the damn queue again the next day – I started off in search of the tail of this enormous beast. But when I look round my wife was not with me. Instead she was chatting to this young guy in a security uniform who appeared to be one of the queue ‘guards’. And then she’s waving me back.
To cut a long story short, I have this friendly and helpful guy to thank for allowing us to skip the queue and jump to the very front. See? Sometimes truly good things do happen. We made the flight with about 10 minutes to spare. And why did he help us?
Was it because my wife explained to him that our Atlantic flight was late arriving so we had little time to transfer to our flight? Not exactly – although it might have helped. Was it the look of desperation in her eyes and her winning English accent? No – but it may have helped. Did she tell him that the previous week I had suffered a Deep Vein Thrombosis and shouldn’t even be flying and definitely should not be standing around in a long queue? Not that – although it might have helped.
The key to this fantastic gesture was all of the above but was mainly down to the image of Johnny Depp on my wife’s t-shirt. The nice young man explained that his girlfriend would never forgive him if she discovered he had not helped a fellow Johnny Depp fan. So we need to thank the guy at the airport, his girlfriend and Johnny Depp for all coming together at the same time to deliver us safely on a plane to Tennessee.

This along the same lines his Conversations with Wife series too.

CONVERSATIONS WITH WIFE #3

She finally wakes up and comes downstairs to join me still looking half asleep and gazes out into space through bleary, half-open eyes.
“I had a nightmare” she murmurs. I make the appropriate sympathetic noises.
“I was at some kind of party or something with lots of celebrities. I was talking to Martin Landau”. It becomes clear suddenly.
“Ah”, says I, “you had a Depp meeting”.
“No”, she responds sadly. “He wasn’t there…”
There is a slight pause before she adds
“…that’s probably why it was a nightmare”.

I am begging you all please to go check out Andy’s blog YellowSwordfish and read all through.. you will thoroughly enjoy it, of that I am sure.

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~ by inadepptrance on March 15, 2009.

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